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Why Marriage Counseling Shouldn't Happen

Why Marriage Counseling Shouldn't Happen

Having worked with couples for over 20 years, there has been such joy to be on the front row seat witnessing healing and restoration.  Being used as a vessel for God to show up and work miracles is no short of fulfilling.  Recently, I worked with a couple who had been married 15+ years, finally gotten to the hard-worked-for chapter of retirement, found themselves not enjoying one another during this supposedly “golden” chapter of leisure and relaxation, and now living in two different cities separated and ready to call it quits.  The lawyers were hired, the papers were filled out and awaiting signatures.  One reached out and posed the question, “Are we sure?”

Marriage Counseling Doesn't Work

Marriage Counseling Doesn't Work

For years I worked with married couples in my practice resulting in personal frustration. They wouldn’t stay for the course and quit before the momentum finally offered them relief, they got better only to see them boomerang back in six months, or there was just too much pain to commit to the process without ensuring a proper payoff. I even considered stopping working with married couples altogether.

Premarital Counseling: Is It Worth It?

Premarital Counseling: Is It Worth It?

What comes to mind when I mention the words “premarital counseling”? To some, these words may trigger feelings of excitement to grow. For some, feelings of fear and not wanting to confront, and to others, possibly an assumption that something must be wrong with the relationship. These may happen and can be realities, but premarital counseling is not only necessary if you are unsure of marriage but also if you are looking to strengthen your future marriage.

Therapy's Hard

Therapy's Hard

Sometimes a few sessions into therapy, clients will ask questions like, “Will I always feel this way?” “How long until therapy feels like it is really working?” or “Why isn’t my husband or wife getting it yet?” Basically they are soliciting the question, “Is there anyway to make this go faster?” My response is usually something along the lines of, "well yeah, if I had the magic solution, I’d be living on a yacht right now making billions." However, in the instant gratification culture we live in today, it’s not surprising that our clients desire some quick, easy fix.

Velcro

Velcro

Ever wonder why that one bad interaction sticks with you all day? Or why the one bad play you made at your rec softball game discounts the fine job you did throughout the whole game? Or remember when you may have gotten all A’s on your report card but that one C stuck out like a sore thumb and made the whole marking period a wash? What is with us and negativity?

So, You're single?

So, You're single?

As a woman, and a Christian woman, I’m beginning to feel as if the topic of singleness surrounds me on a daily basis and lingers around most corners of discussion. Between my clients and single friends, I consistently see this area of people’s lives being talked about and viewed in multiple ways.

5 THINGS TO BE AWARE OF WHEN CHOOSING COUPLES COUNSELING

5 THINGS TO BE AWARE OF WHEN CHOOSING COUPLES COUNSELING

Starting the process of choosing to enter into couples counseling, as well as, choosing who to do it with can be an overwhelming task. In fact, studies show that couples consider making that first appointment for a minimum of four years before actually going. There are many reasons for this, but some of that is the just not knowing.  Considering this is the most important relationship, you can never be too careful. This guide can better help you understand some of the things that will make you a well- informed client while you make an educated decision.

We are Called to love

We are Called to love

I arrived home from work one day and noticed the laundry had been taken out of the dryer and folded. Now this doesn’t happened often, so you can imagine the surprised greeting my husband received from me. My husband and I have our own ways of cleaning and organizing. I tend to be more particular about cleanliness and how our things are organized; whereas my husband is more laid-back about the structure of the home. So when I saw my folded clothes laid out, my initial reaction was to criticize his folding techniques – “that is not how I do it”, “you should do it like this”, or “that doesn’t look right”. Over the years, I have learned a lot about our differences: how we load the dish washer differently, how we eat at a different pace, how we communicate differently. I’ve also learned to appreciate our differences. When I found the laundry folded his way, I had a choice – to criticize his differences or to appreciate them.
Our responsibility as husbands and wives is to wholeheartedly love our spouse.

Communication- How to Listen Well and Speak Up for Yourself

Communication- How to Listen Well and Speak Up for Yourself

Communication. It’s something we all have to do, daily, if not constantly, with our bosses, spouses, family, friends, children and even strangers. For some, it seems to come so easy, confidently expressing thoughts themselves. While for others, it is a major struggle to get across the simplest of requests without feeling uncomfortable.